The meditation itself is pretty painful for me because I need to accept, that I am attached to so many things and had to let it go to gain a better quality of life. These are things, I can’t control immediately and completely in life, and I suffer from it.
The only three things I can control in life:
Feelings; Translating negative feelings into neutral feelings
Mind; Changing bad and destructive narrative stories in my mind to a healthier approach
Body; Maintaining it like a temple
The strongest is my feelings. If my mind is not trained for particular situations, it will mostly follow my feelings. I can train it good enough, so that it can influence how I feel about unpleasant experiences in life. Then comes my body.
I can’t change my body for getting older at the moment. But I can maintain it, so I can stay longer inside, just like a house. My body will be as healthy as the peace between my feelings and my mind.
To be able to meditate, I have to be in the present. Only then I can learn from my mistakes in the past, and forgive myself. I also have to be in the present to be able influence my future. In the present, I can distance myself (soul or spirit) from these three things, I can control.
I’m not my feelings, my thoughts or my body. I am a soul, a spirit. Sometimes I love to refer myself as a bundle of energy, that could be transformed to after death into plants, animals or other human beings.
Have you tried the Buddhist meditation? What do you think about it?